This was the second short story I wrote, a year or so after I wrote ‘Schism’ while I was in college. I honestly didn’t like it at first, but it has grown on me over the years.

It all began on the corner of Pike and Yancy on a Saturday night. A young man pulled up to the curb and rolled his window down to take a closer look at the woman standing by the lamppost. It was 12:30 at night, the bulb was slowly burning out, and it was pouring rain. All this contributed to his distorted image of the girl, but it really did not matter to him what she looked like at this point. She looked at him through her hood and smiled, although he could barely see it, and he nodded his head and motioned for her to get in. She opened the door and climbed inside, but made it appear as if she was in no hurry. As she closed the door, he began to drive off towards the hotel, where he had rented a room for the evening. She spoke first to break the ice a bit.

     ”Glad you picked me up. Wasn’t going to stand out there too much longer.”
“Good thing I came when I did then. How much to spend the night with you?”
     ”Well, we’re straightforward, aren’t we? No, ‘Hi, my name is John Doe, I like blow jobs over hand jobs,’ kinda bullshit, huh?”
“I was never one for bullshit. My name’s Nathan. Yours?” He hadn’t even seen her closely yet, keeping his eyes on the road as the storm raged on outside.
     ”Monica. No bullshit name like ‘Scarlet’ or anything. I’m not ashamed of what I do. Not like I could hide it either. People know who I am…they just don’t like to acknowledge it.”
“I see. Hotel Casey sound good to you?”
     ”That’s fine. I think I’m there more often than my apartment anymore. Nobody ever wants to take me home because they’re always trying to hide me from somebody.”
“I don’t have anyone. I just assumed that’s how it was done.”
     ”Yeah, usually it is…what’s the matter?”
“What do you mean?”
     ”You haven’t looked at me once. Not that I think you’ll be disappointed when you do, I’m just saying…”
“I’m just trying to watch the road, that’s all.”

Nathan drove into the hotel’s lot and parked all the way in the back, as far from the hotel and the other cars as possible. She looked at him strangely. “Why the hell would you park all the way back here in the middle of this storm?” He didn’t reply, however, and just stepped out and walked towards their destination. She ran to catch up with him, her purse flailing as she tried pulling her hood up further so as not to become more soaked than she already was. Once inside, Nathan stopped to search his pocket for the room key, and Monica came up behind him, taking his unoccupied arm and wrapping hers around it. He turned to look at her as she jerked her head back to knock the hood off, her short red hair falling over her ears.

She looked at him unabashedly and grinned, pushing her hair back around her ears and looking at him brown eye to brown eye. “You like?” she inquired knowingly. He looked her up and down for the first time, taking note that she was of average height and weight, had large breasts barely supported by a cheap bra, and was dressed in a form fitting, cleavage exposing outfit typical of her profession. He looked back up at her face and followed the curves of her smooth cheeks to her tongue slowly wetting her full lips and then disappearing behind her white smile again. “I like,” he replied, and led her to their room up the stairs, down the hall, two doors down; the numbers 570 hanging crooked on the door. He quickly closed and locked the door behind them.

     ”You’re cautious…or ashamed, not sure which,” she laughed.
“Both, I guess.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, facing away from her looking down at the old green carpet, completely mismatched with the rest of the room.
     ”What have you to be ashamed of?” She tossed her wet coat onto the chair in the corner and sat on her knees on the other side of the bed. “You’re on a bed with a hot redhead whom you’re about to have your way with all night long…for a small fee of course, but still…”
“That’s just it. I don’t think I should be doing this. It’s not right.”
     ”And what’s not right about it? It’s just a little sex, or a lot of sex if that’s your thing. It’s your money, after all. Might as well not waste it.”
“I never thought I’d be here, doing this. I just feel so guilty already…”
     ”Oh don’t let that whole conscience thing get to you. You said yourself you don’t have anybody else. What’s there to be guilty about?” She said this as she inched her way across the bed on her knees, placing her hands on his shoulders and rubbing them, massaging slowly in a circular motion.
“I just used to think sex was this beautiful thing, reserved only for those you really loved or cared about.”
     ”Oh don’t give me that now. You picked me up, didn’t you? Obviously your position has changed, so why don’t we skip the homily…?” She reached around and ran her hand across his thigh, starting at his knee and moving gently towards his crotch.

Nathan closed his eyes and moaned a bit as her hand moved over and carefully grabbed the seam of his jeans. Simply giving in, he laid back on the pillow as she undid his belt and unzipped his pants and let his mind drift away, his face showing no particular, categorical emotion. A little over an hour later, the deed was done and he realized there was no turning back as he lay next to her contemplating what had just happened. His elbow rested on the pillow as he held his head in his right hand, staring at her peaceful face intently. Monica had a small smile on and looked back at him innocently. “You’re pretty good, Nathan. Nice rhythm, steady pace…you’re kinda cute, too. You got that tall, dark, and handsome thing goin’ on.” She watched a bead of sweat drip down from his dark brown hair and be wiped away by his arm. She could see he did not have a lot of muscle, but was thin and trim. His sad brown eyes were surrounded by deep bags that reflected endless nights of little to no sleep.

     ”Don’t sleep much, do you?”
“Not since she left, no.”
     ”Oh, so there is a woman involved. Just not directly.”
“I guess you could say that.”
     ”So tell me, what was she like?”
He removed his hand from his head and lay down on the pillow. “What can I say? She was the love of my life…everything to me. We were just so perfect for each other…”
     ”I meant in bed.”
“Oh…”
     ”She as good as me?”
“I don’t think that’s relevant, and I really don’t think that’s any of your business.”
     ”Touchy subject, I’m sorry.” She honestly wasn’t, but moved closer to him and put her arm around his chest.
He rolled over so as not to face her and her hand dropped to the mattress behind him. The image of his ex plagued his mind once again. “How much is it going to be now?”
     She sighed. “Hundred bucks, plus a tip if you’re so inclined, and I think you are from the sound of it earlier.”

He didn’t respond, and simply kept playing over and over in his mind what he had just done. Feeling uncomfortable, she was about to ask if she should go, but rolled over away from him and looked out the window to see it raining as hard as it was before. Not about to bear the cold, nasty weather for a few more hours, she opted to stay the night albeit the even colder company.

Morning came, and the sun shone though the paltry, yellowed curtains onto the bed in a slightly skewed rectangle shape of light. Nathan didn’t sleep that entire night, and squinted as he rolled over to face his bedmate. Monica was fast asleep, but had only been so for about two hours before he brushed her arm and woke her. He got out of the bed and stretched, and she observed him closely when he bent down to pick his boxers and jeans off the floor.

     ”You’ve got a nice ass, too. Didn’t really notice last night.”
“Why did you go to sleep? Didn’t it cross your mind that I might just slip out without paying?”
     ”I did think about that, but you don’t strike me as the type that would do that…That, and I knew you’d be back for more eventually.”
“Whoever said that? I explained how I felt about this last night, and it only grew worse the more I thought about it.”
     ”Because you liked it and you know it.” She smirked, proud of herself and her abilities.

He didn’t turn around, but he could just feel her satisfied smile behind his back. He took out two fifties and twenty from his wallet and placed them on the bed. She groaned. “Does this mean I have to get up now?” He had no reply for her, so she just got up, dressed, and followed behind him as he gave his key back. He looked around as he stepped outside and found the lot deserted except for a few cars in the front. She grabbed his arm and pulled her face to his, standing on her toes to kiss his unshaven cheek. “See ya ’round, sexy.” She walked down the sidewalk, sure to move her hips slightly as to accent her ass and she turned the corner and was gone. Nathan sighed, took out his keys, and walked toward his car, hoping that he would never have to see her again.

Monica was correct in her arrogant, yet experienced, presumption, however, and almost a week later, he met her again at the corner of Pike and Yancy. She watched the car pull up and smiled, tracing her index finger across the hood as she walked in front of it and around to the door. Once inside, she pushed her hair back behind her ears and nudged him slightly.

     ”I knew you’d be back. Didn’t I tell you?”
There was no reply. He began driving towards the hotel.
     ”Just can’t get enough of me, eh?”
Again, nothing.
     ”Fine, give me the silent treatment. You won’t be in a few minutes…”
“Enough already, Christ!” he snapped.

Silence filled the car again, and not a word was spoken as he parked in the same spot and they walked to that same room. Their relationship went on like this for over a month – little conversation and empty sex for a hundred bucks, plus twenty for a tip. Monica had thought when they had first met that he might be different from her other customers. She wasn’t sure how, just different. As the weeks went by, however, this notion quickly faded.

About a month and a half into their “relationship,” after locking the door of room 570 behind them, Nathan sat at the edge of the bed with his face buried in his hands. She sat next to him with a puzzled look.

     ”What’s wrong? Somebody hit your dog?”
“I just don’t know why I’m here…again…with you.”
     ”We both know why you’re here…again…with me,” she said, mocking him. “It’s what I do. I see it all the time. Guy comes along, picks me up, wants a thrill for night, gets blown away, doesn’t want anything else.”
“Despite the stigmatisms that come with my gender and disregarding my previous actions, I’m not here for sex.”
     ”Then why in god’s name did you rent a room with a prostitute? Who do you think you are, Holden Caulfield?”
“Maybe…I don’t know. I guess I just want more out of life. I just…”
     She rolled her eyes and suddenly sat on his lap facing him, straddling him and rubbing her nose across his neck softly.
     ”You’re not gonna want any more than this, I promise…” she purred.
Nathan carefully pushed her off his lap. “Didn’t you hear me? I’m not interested, OK?! I know it may sound strange to you, but I brought you here tonight because I…well…I don’t know why. I’ve had sex with you the past few weeks because I felt that that was what I was supposed to do, that there was some sort of obligation involved. I’ve had this empty feeling inside me for so long now…I thought this was what I needed to pacify it. And it works for a little while, but once it’s all over, it comes back twice as hard. I just want to…I don’t know…”
     ”Discuss politics? Bitch about the weather? C’mon, be serious.”
“Maybe I am…” He paused for a minute and thought. “So what do you like to do when you’re not…you know…working.”
     ”…You’re serious?”
“Yeah, I’m serious. What do you do?”
     ”Fuck.”
“So when you’re not fucking, you’re fucking?”
     ”Yep. What else is there to this dull, dismal existence of ours besides eating, shitting, and fucking?”
It was his turn to be sarcastic now. “Hmm…I don’t know…read books, watch movies, listen to music, go on dates…any of this stuff ring any bells?”
     ”Nope, not really. Haven’t done any of those things in years.”
“Why?” he questioned, confused.
     ”Because who wants to take a hooker out on a date? And even when I wasn’t a hooker, every guy I ever went out with wanted one thing and one thing only, so why not just give him what he really wants, and get paid for it?”
“Maybe because that’s not what you really want?”
     ”Who says? Beats masturbation any day.”
“Must you always be so crude?”
     ”Must you try and make conversation with the woman you’re paying to sleep with you?…Wait, are you paying me tonight?”
“Yeah, I’ll pay you. Just keep me up tonight.”
     ”You know I can do that…”
“I mean keep me stimulated…intellectually.”

And that she did. The rest of the night and the early morning hours were dedicated to general topics, such as life around their area, their school days, shows on TV, and a few other subjects that any two strangers could expand upon. Their usual time had come, and Nathan reached for his wallet, but Monica put her hand over his. “Save your money. Take me out for breakfast.” He raised an eyebrow, but once he realized she was serious, he led her to the car and they drove to a little diner down the street where their conversing continued for a few more hours over coffee and greasy egg omelets. As they left the diner, Monica reached into her purse, opened up his hand, placed something in it, and began to walk away in the opposite direction of the car.

“What’s this?” He opened up his hand and found a two-dollar bill.
     ”An old customer of mine, a car dealer actually, always gives me a two-dollar bill for a tip. I have a whole collection of them at home in a jar. I never spend them. He always tells me that if I come home with him permanently, I could have any car in the lot I want. I just laugh, because if his cars perform anything like he does, they’re best left in his lot.”
“Thanks…I think. Why?”
     ”Why does he give me a two-dollar bill or why did I give it to you?”
“Both, I guess.”
     ”I don’t have an answer for either. I just want you to keep it, OK?”
“OK then.”
     With that, she began to walk away again.
“Where are you going? I’ll give you a ride, you know.”
     ”Nobody knows where I live…I like to keep it that way. No offense, Nate.”
“None taken…I’ll see ya.”
     ”See ya, hot stuff.”

Nathan looked down at the bill for a minute, then pocketed it. He contemplated what had happened that night for the next week, wondering what this meant for the both of them. Was this just a fluke, a one-night change of plans that would be forgotten about completely by Saturday, or did she really care about him more than she let on? These desperate thoughts raced through his isolated mind until he picked her up that Saturday, and for the first time since they had met, he smiled at her when she entered the car. She smiled back, and they drove to the hotel and entered their room once again, holding hands the entire way. He sat on the bed, and she started seductively removing her shirt in front of him, swaying her bony hips back and forth as she tossed it at his face. Reaching back to unhook her bra, he quickly removed the shirt from his head and stood up.

“What are you doing?”
     ”What does it look like I’m doing? Now sit down and relax.”
“Don’t you get it? This isn’t what I want…I thought we established that the other night.”
     ”Well, I hate to break it to you, but I’m still a prostitute. Us sitting up and talking all night doesn’t change the fact that I sleep with men for money. You’re a man, you brought me here, so let me do my job.”
“Well, maybe every relationship you’ve had is full of nothing but sex, but I’m looking for more than that.”
     ”What, do you want me to be your girlfriend?”
“I didn’t say that…”
     ”Good, because it wouldn’t happen. Any prostitute who tries to have a real relationship is just dreaming anyway.”
“Even if you weren’t one, would it matter?”
     ”Probably not. I’ve never been able to make one work yet.”
“Exactly. Did you ever stop to think that’s the more to life than getting off?”
     ”No, honestly, I haven’t. It’s been my experience that life is about temporary pleasure, fleeting moments of happiness…like an orgasm. You spend all that time working so hard for something so great, and when you finally get it, it lasts all of a minute or so. Then you just pull out and walk away, on to the next bit of good pussy, the next good time. It’s a vicious cycle, but it’s something all us animals do.”
“Hey, I never…”
     She cut him off immediately. “Never what? Never just fucked someone and forgotten all about her?! We all have, Nate, so stop trying to play the sweet, innocent guy. You did it with me, didn’t you?! This isn’t some sort of bad movie where the hooker-with-a-heart just quits the business for this amazing guy who wants her for more than what’s between her legs. It doesn’t work like that and you know it!” She turned away from him and stared out the window, her hands gripping the ledge as if she were about to tear it off.
“At least I know what I want. I don’t hop from one meaningless relationship to the next…”
     She spun back around to face him. “And what is it that you want? Someone to spend the rest of your life with? Someone to have the three kids and the house with white picket fence? Someone to have your meals prepared for you when you return home from your nine-to-five office job?! It doesn’t work that way in reality!”
“Maybe I don’t want that either, Monica. Maybe I just wanted someone to talk to…someone to listen. Maybe…maybe I’m just lonely. And I think you are too…”
     ”Me? Lonely?! All I have to do is spread my legs a bit at a nightclub and I won’t be lonely! I had sex with five people last night. Five! At the same time! I wasn’t feeling lonely then! I wasn’t even paid for it! I did that for fun!”
His face cringed at the thought. “But haven’t you ever questioned why? Why you’re doing this to yourself?!”
     ”Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I’m not doing this to myself? That maybe this is what I want?! That this is what gets me through the day, just like our weekly meetings get you through those lonely nights until next week?! Do you realize how fucking pathetic that is?”
He stayed quiet, his jaw almost on the floor. He slowly put his head down again.
     ”What, are you ashamed now? Ashamed that you’re on a list that’s a lot longer than you thought?” She turned to the window again and thrust it open, screaming, “I fucked Nathan…what the fuck is your last name?!”
“For Christ’s sake…” he pleaded, reaching for her arm.
     She pulled away defiantly. “Nathan whatever-the-fuck-his-name-is!!”
Having had enough, he stood up and spun her around.
     ”What, are you so afraid of who you are?” she said between heavy breaths.
“No…” He hesitated, releasing her. “I’m afraid of what I’ve become.”

Monica grabbed her purse and stormed out, leaving Nathan alone once again. He had plenty of time to think about what was said that night for the next week. He realized a few things about himself, and about her – how they were both just two forlorn twenty-somethings in this godforsaken city looking for love in all the wrong places. And not love in that hopelessly devoted sense, just companionship that didn’t just happen upon them like it did for everybody else. He wanted to think that he was more than just another lover, and she was afraid of having more than just that. By that following Saturday, he had the exact words in his mind ready to explain this all to her, and he pulled up just as the digital clock in his car hit 12:30.

It was pouring hard again, just like it was on that first night, but this time there was a difference – there was no one standing on the corner of Pike and Yancy staring back at him. He rolled his window down, but there was emptiness though the thick mist of water under the dimming lamppost. He reached into his pocket and took out the two-dollar bill – the solitary, forlorn face of Jefferson staring back at him. He turned away from it and stared out into the night again, crumpling it in his hand tightly. As his window rolled back up, he tossed it out and sped away. The note was pelted by the heavy raindrops again and again until it landed in about the spot Monica usually stood, unfolding slightly and sticking to the ground – squandered, saturated, and forgotten. The light above flickered a few more times, as if it were taking its final breaths, and inescapably burnt out.